Some people don’t actually care about you or your divorce.
They just want the story.
They ask you what’s going on. It’s not to help, but to collect facts.
They want to compare, to gossip, to check in without actually showing up.
I’ve learned that during divorce, people will violate your boundaries if they can.
They’ll say, “I’m just trying to make sure you’re okay,” but what they really mean is,
I want to know what happened and who did what.
Let me be clear.
If I’m quiet about what I’m going through, it’s not because I’m hiding anything (which I have the right to).
It’s because some parts of my life deserve space before they become content.
It’s because I’m allowed to process something before I explain it to people who weren’t even there. I’m very happy to be getting a divorce.
I’m not asking for understanding. I’m asking for respect, because when your world gets flipped, you don’t always have the words.
…and sometimes, the people asking you questions are the last ones you’d trust with the answers.
Some people hate it when a relationship ends, but some people hate it even more when the person doesn’t fall apart.
They’ll say, “We just want to make sure y’all are good.”
What they really mean is, I want to be close to the fire without getting burned.
That’s not care. That’s control.
That’s intrusion.
So, if you see me quiet, minding my business, not explaining every post, know this:
I’m not avoiding the truth. I’m protecting it.
I’m Not Hiding. I’m Healing.
…and if I’ve ever given you space to heal,
If I’ve ever respected your silence,
Then please know I’m just asking for the same thing.
