I don’t think most women want revenge when a relationship ends. They want to move on. They’re not trying to ruin reputations or drag the father of their child through the dirt. In fact, many of them go out of their way to protect a man’s image, whether that man is their father, their partner, or their child’s parent. Women are protective that way.
While Teyana Taylor, Remy Ma, Cardi B, and Kashdoll are different women in different stages in life, it’s the same pattern. Each one has said, in some form, that they tried to protect the image of the men in their lives. Not for applause, but for peace and for their children and their families. No woman wants her child to grow up and see their life turned into tabloid drama.
In that position, they’re given two impossible options:
- Speak up and be seen as petty.
- Stay silent and let the pressure chip away at your mental health.
Both choices get weaponized.
Silence gets used against them as proof they don’t care.
Speaking up becomes ammo to paint them as bitter or unstable.
Meanwhile, the other parent walks around in curated calm, pulling out parenting like a costume for the public once a week.
Teyana finalized her divorce, posted a photo with someone new, and then suddenly had court documents leaked to the media. She had to file motions just to protect her space and got accused of violating a court order she hadn’t weaponized. She got on live and said something that sat heavy with me: “I’m not trying to send him to jail. I just want peace.”
Remy Ma stayed quiet through months of rumors. She claimed her partner had been cheating for a long time, so she moved on. When she finally spoke to set the record straight. She revealed she had been paying for everything: the bills, the lifestyle, the entire household. Still, she was being mocked. When she felt disrespected and told her side of the story, the minute she drew a boundary, she was labeled the problem. It wasn’t until she told her story did he sign the divorce papers.
Cardi said she didn’t ask for child support. She just wanted to leave. She has currently moved on. The response was a request for spousal support and a twisted version of events to the public. When she finally spoke, it wasn’t for attention. I think she got upset and wanted to speak her mind.
Kash Doll didn’t blast her ex. She didn’t get online and shame him, even after revealing infidelity was part of the reason she left. She simply said she couldn’t do it anymore and that she wasn’t going to stay in something just to look like a family. That was it. No mess and dragging, just truth and boundaries. Even with that restraint, people still picked apart her tone, her timing, her choices. She walked away quietly, and still had to defend her peace. Like so many other women, she wasn’t trying to punish anyone. She was just done sacrificing herself to protect a version of a man the world wanted to believe in.
At the core, they are saying the same thing. Not in those exact words, but in spirit. None are trying to to make anyone suffer. The problem is that men like this don’t hear boundaries. They hear threats. When you remove yourself from their control, even the quietest move feels like war to them.
People love to say, “Just stay calm for the kids.”
They never explain what that actually costs.
They don’t prepare women for the emotional math of sitting through a lie, biting back every reaction, knowing your truth has to wait for the right moment.
There’s no guidebook for the nights you rehearse your own composure just to be seen as stable.
The Bible says, “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?” Jeremiah 17:9
This is the part that often gets overlooked. These men know what they’re doing. They weaponize situations for control. Then they tell the world you’re difficult because you don’t clap for the performance. They create chaos and wait for you to lose it so they can call you unstable.
To anyone who needs to hear this, you’re not imagining it. You’re not overreacting. You’re not wrong for feeling exhausted. You are making choices every day that no one applauds, but God sees. You are staying calm under fire. You are showing up, even when they try to break you down to nothing.
You are doing it right.
Listen to this loud and clear, too: Having children doesn’t make you damaged goods. You are not too complicated, too “used,” or too hard to love. All the women we’ve talked about have either found love or are open to finding it again. The right person won’t be scared of your story, they’ll respect it. They won’t resent your role as a mother; they’ll honor it.
And even if love doesn’t come again in the way you imagined, the clarity and peace you gain by walking away from chaos is still worth more than staying in something just to say you’re not alone. Peace is a blessing, and real love… if/when it shows up, it won’t ask you to shrink to be worthy of it.
One day, your child will understand. One day, your situation won’t be as difficult. One day, the silence you kept will echo louder than the noise he made. One day, your boundaries and your patience will be the very things that keep you standing tall while they fall apart trying to keep up the act.
You don’t have to react. You don’t have to prove anything. You already did.
You’re still handling it, and Evolving Anyway